Monday, May 30, 2011
As you might well imagine, The Coach and I were busy racking our brains for a solution. Our usual first port of call for a broken down vehicle, the RACQ, generally assumes that you and your broken down vehicle are in the same place. Clearly our circumstances fell into the unusual category. We made a list of local friends who owed us favours (0). We made another list of friends we could potentially bribe with the lure of alcohol and/or chocolate (many). We tried contacting the first of our friends on our Bribe List and discovered (most inconveniently) that Wilderness Man, who also happens to be an airline mechanic (plane, car, much of a muchness right ?) had chosen that very morning to take off for a three day fishing and camping trip. Bummer.
It was only as The Coach declared for the sixty-seventh time that he was turning the car around, that I realised fortune was favouring us with a small break. Only one week earlier I had employed the services of a local mobile mechanic to service my car and I suddenly noticed his sticker in the top right corner of my windscreen, with a mobile phone number listed, hallelujah.
Calls were made....many calls....but by the time we arrived in Noosa, plans had been set in motion and we were reasonably confident that everything would turn out okay. Yes, the kids managed to score two days off school whilst the car was getting repaired. Yes, we now had an unexpected extra expense tapped on to the cost of our holiday. But it was a small price to pay.
As we walked into the local pizzeria that evening I discovered that our luck had indeed changed. Mojito night. Bonus. Nothing better then a mojito or five to take your mind off car issues. I embraced holiday mode with such gusto that three hours later I was embracing the toilet bowl after having fertilised the manicured gardens of Noosa with my own special blend of pizza and white rum. It's klarsy with a capital 'K' when you take a bit of Gold Coast magic to Noosa let me tell you.
The next afternoon, after I had managed the enormous trek from the bed to the couch, I decided to check in with Nanny B. Le Artiste answered the phone,
"Hi mum, are you having a nice holiday ?"
"Yes thank-you darling, but we're not talking in tin cans linked by string, if you could yell a little quieter, that would be great. How are things at home ?"
"Good. We're having two days off school and Nanny just finished talking to the policeman about dad's car."
(Oh dear God)
"The policeman ?"
"Yes, the policeman called because people thought that dad's car had been stolen and left in the middle of the road."
(I think I'm ready for another mojito)
"But Nanny sorted it all out."
"Yep, she told him the whole story....oh Nanny...."
"Oh no, what's happened now ?"
*sigh* "Oh dear mum, Nanny just tried to put water in the wrong end of the iron and it's gone all over the kitchen."
"Well I'll let you go and help Nanny out darling. I'll call you again later."
"Okay, bye mum."
"Coach, grab your wallet, I need another ten mojitos stat."
Monday, May 23, 2011
Waffles (W) : (humming happily and ignoring the torrential downpour) Are you feeling relaxed yet Coach ? Yay, we're on holidays. I might just give your mum a quick call and make sure she found the school okay.
The Coach (TC) : (jaw clenched, hunched over steering wheel) Yeah. Great. Very relaxed.
Phone : Ring Ring (a little blast from the past for those of you over the age of thirty-five)
Nanny B (NB) : Hellloooooo
W : (with an inaudible sigh of relief) Oh hi Nanny B, just wanted to check that you didn't get lost on that one road between our house and the school.
NB : Oh hello darling, no no, I didn't get lost but I'm glad you called....now I don't want you to worry but.....
W : (holding breath) *Uh oh*
NB : ....there's been a little bit of a problem....
W : (still holding breath, turning a light shade of red)
NB : ...with the car...
W : (still holding breath, turning a light shade of purple)
NB : It stopped.
TC : Waffles, why are you turning blue ? What's mum saying ?
W : (taking a huge gulp of air to avoid passing out) What exactly do you mean by stopped ?
TC : What stopped ?
NB : Well...it just sort of stopped...
TC : WHAT STOPPED ?
W : Aahh, do you mean stopped at the school when you turned it off ?
TC : (knuckles turning white on the steering wheel) You're kidding, the car.
NB : Well no...I got about half way to school..and it was making this terrible noise...and there was this awful burning smell....and then it just wouldn't go anymore..but I managed to get it into reverse.....and I got it off the road..mostly...then it stopped altogether.
TC : I'm turning around.
W : No no hon, keep going...we've already been driving for an hour and a half..
NB : Oh don't come back. We're fine..
W : Oh, the kids, have you got the kids ?
NB : Oh yes, I was going to walk the rest of the way...
W : (blanching at the thought of the kids making the hour long trek home in the rain)
NB : But then I though, that's just plain silly, so I knocked on the door of a house..
W : Whose house ?
NB : Oh I can't remember her name. Lovely lady though. She was just about to leave to go to work and she helped me get the keys out of the ignition..
W : You left the key in the ignition ?
TC : I'm turning around right now.
NB : Well they got stuck. But she got them out. So we locked the car and she drove me to school and we picked up the kids and then she drove us home.
W : So the car is locked..half on the side of the road...half way to school....and you have the keys...and are back at home ? (trying to avoid looking at The Coach and the surprisingly large vein that appears to be throbbing in his temple).
TC : I'm turning around.
NB : Yes. But don't worry about us, we'll be fine. Enjoy your holiday. Relax. Now who do I call ?
W : *with a small sigh* Nanny B, I think I'll have to call you back.
NB : (Cheerily) Okay darling, speak to you soon.
To be continued....
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Disclaimer - Neither myself nor The Coach works for or is in any way affiliated with Nissan. I mean obviously if we were, I would already be driving a Murano wouldn't I. I have not received any form of payment from Nissan for writing this post, but if they would like to send me a Murano, I wouldn't say no. We really do just genuinely like Nissans.