Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in.

You know I've never really understood that expression "Look what the cat dragged in." It seems to be used in the context of "Oh yes, and where have you been all this time ? We've been waiting for you." And is generally accompanied by the 'break it down now' beat of a foot whose owner wears the agitated expression of a bear coming in for his third swipe of the bee hive whilst dodging an army of bees wearing matching expressions of agitation. Which by the way, I am basing on speculation rather then known fact as bees have rather tiny faces and bear sightings have been few and far between around these parts.

But really, how does this expression equate to what the cat actually does drag in ? As the owner of two cats, it has been my experience that the cat usually likes to bring in headless rats. Well, sometimes it's just the head, sometimes it's the body, it's like her version of those new Barbie dolls where you can pick up various heads and mix and match them with the different bodies.

Now it may come as rather a shock to learn that I don't have an assortment of tiny, rat sized bean bags placed around the living room in anticipation of the next headless corpse (although I'm sure this would make for a rather entertaining dinner conversation when we have guests over). There are no teeny tiny welcome mats, no nuggets of cheese in the fridge (and lets face it, that would be just a plain old waste of good cheese because it's awfully hard to eat cheese when you are lacking a head). Really there is nothing but a dustpan and broom on standby to unceremoniously scoop up the remains and launch them, medieval catapult style, into the bush.

So where was I actually heading with all this ? Erm..I can't really remember..but I am here to say that although my blog posts have been rather sporadic of late, and although I am pretty sure I don't in any way, shape or form resemble a headless rat, I am trying to come back and find my blogging mojo.

Last night I proudly attended the NonAusBlogCon2011 (attended in the sense of put on my Ugg boots, grabbed a glass of wine and planted myself in front of the computer to follow the Tweet Stream of all the bloggers who were down in Sydney attended the Aussie Bloggers Conference 2011). And although I went through a short period of insane, teeth grinding, hair tearing out jealousy that I was not actually attending the AusBlogCon2011, following the Twitter Stream was a timely reminder that we here in Australia are building a formidable collection of smart and savvy bloggers who it would seem have loved meeting each other IRL (that's' in real life' for those of you who don't frequent Twitter) as much as through all the wonderful stories which flow throughout the blogging network. And quite frankly, I have missed my bloggy pals, so I am determined to pull my finger out and get blogging again.

Now that I have that out of my system, I am off to live vicariously through all the blog posts about AusBlogCon2011 whilst daydreaming about AusBlogCon2012 and perhaps hand stitching a small, rat corpse sized bean bag cover. Watch out Melbourne, this is shaping up to be bigger then Ben-Hur.

Todays lesson : Camouflage

Camouflage is all about instinct, is it not ? Wild animals aren't gathering at the watering hole to pass on tips : "Yeah Frank, look you're doing okay, but with your yellow tones I highly recommend you stick to the tall, golden grasses on the plains. You're sticking out like a sore thumb in the lush green vegetation and the antelope can see you a mile away, just thought you should know."


Taking a moment to survey the neighbourhood, I have been gobsmacked at the lack of basic camouflage skills. Take the above, this is Cat, and this is a camouflage FAIL. She gets points for matching long, fluffy fur with long, fluffy grass but it's frightfully apparent that she has put very little thought into her colour scheme. Hope you are sleeping with one eye open Cat because you're not fooling anyone, no matter how small a ball you roll into.

Fat Cat has taken a different approach. She gets points for finding a nook and trying a surprise additional height element. But at the end of the day, black against white and green = camouflage FAIL.

Teddy is working on the 'if I can't see you, you can't see me,' angle. Nice try Teddy but you are still missing the basic principle of camouflage, blend, blend, blend. Sorry Teddy, camouflage FAIL.

Wait, what's this......let me look a little closer, why Teddy, well done. You have been paying attention, which is more then I can say for those stubborn felines who are just begging to be carted off by a stray mountain lion. Can you see what Teddy has done everyone ? That's right, Teddy is blending in with the clothes hamper, what a clever Teddy.

Teddy.....Teddy.......has anyone seen Teddy ? I seem to have lost her. Teddy ? Oh well, I'm sure she'll turn up soon, in the meantime I hope you have all learnt a valuable lesson about camouflage, when in doubt, colour match and blend. Now where on earth could that Teddy have gone ?