I'll save you...here, have a cupcake.

I'm pretty sure that today I affirmed myself as the person that you should have at the top of your speed dial list in the event of a National crisis, heck, maybe even a Global crisis. For those of you who reside on the other side of the world, or those of you living under a large rock, today has been a rather wacky day on our fair shores.

The news first thing this morning reported earthquakes in Melbourne, severe storms with golf ball sized hail in Canberra, a massive dust storm descending upon Sydney and high fire danger warnings for Qld. Hmmm, thought I, what to do ?

Well, I looked out from the balcony and saw this :

Hmmm, I thought again, that looks rather ominous.

A quick scan on Twitter confirmed my fears, Apocalypse, End of the World and reported zombie sightings. Yep. I definitely needed to swing into action, clearly everyone had gone mad. So I did what any sane, completely rational woman would do, I ran into the kitchen and started baking chocolate cupcakes.

You're impressed right ? Clearly I am a woman who performs under pressure and has her priorities sorted. That's right, if the end of the world was nigh, I was going out with my cheeks crammed full of chocolate cupcakes and a smear of icing on the tip of my nose.

The light....the light....

Have you ever noticed those bewildered people wondering around the shops in a zombie-like trance ? Today I was one of those people. The sun just seemed so darn sunny, there were little feathery creatures making noises in the trees and there were other humans, gads, was it all a vivid dream ?

What on earth could have caused this paralysing state of disassociation I hear you ask (well I think that's what you're asking, hard to make it out though all the static crackling, darn ESP). Was it lack of sleep ? A large rogue bowling ball conking me on the head as I ventured out for my morning latte ? A handful of sedatives slipped discreetly into the aforementioned latte ?

Well, no, surprisingly it was none of the above.

Today I was taken off-line. I know, here, would you like to borrow my brown paper bag ? Perhaps a nip of bandy ? I'd like to reassure you all that the matter is now well and truly back under control. I have wrangled the laptop back off The Coach (work from home, goodness me. Sure having an income is handy but at what cost, WHAT COST ?)

Anyway, I just thought I would share my pain with you all, because lets face it, if you're sitting here and reading this, you and I are cut from the same cloth. But guess what (please don't tell The Coach I'm saying this) it was actually kind of nice to get outside and mingle with the flu ridden masses in the mild winter weather, just for a little while. Now, let's log back in and see what I've missed.....