Tip-toeing through a minefield of boots.

Image from Nina Proudman Fashion on Facebook

Let me start by saying I enjoy the Channel Ten series Offspring and I particularly appreciate many of the fashion choices selected for the character of Nina Proudman (played rather delightfully by Asher Keddie, and seen in the above image). If you haven't ever watched an episode of Offspring then you would be unaware of Nina's favoured choice of footwear. Often a knee high leather boot, worn either with floaty and feminine dresses or over denim. And I think it looks great.

Nina's influence aside, for some time I have been toying with the idea of purchasing a lovely pair of leather boots and with the bright red flashes of Sale signs dancing before my eyes, the other day I finally took the plunge.

Now to be perfectly honest, it was not love at first sight. I liked the heel height (I'm sorry, what are you saying Dr Chiropractor? Heels....bad....*sticks fingers in ears and sings la la la*), I liked the boot height (just below the knee), and I liked the colour (a neutral stone/grey) but there was some runching. Hmmm, runching...80s flashback anyone? But lo and behold, runching on the shelf appears far less...er....runchy...on the leg, and so it was that the boots, in their kiddie playhouse sized box, came home with me. And I was happy.

But the very next day, as I slid my lovely new boots on over my jeans and took a moment to appreciate how the colour perfectly complimented the dress-style top I was wearing, The Coach walked into the bedroom, stopped dead in his tracks and said the unthinkable,

"Oh my God, you are wearing come f*** me boots."

I don't mind telling you I was mortified. Here was I feeling all stylish and Nina-esque but with ten words The Coach had me doubting any style cred I thought I may have had. Of course I was very quick to rebut his words and assure him that he was completely delusional and these boots in no way, shape or form resembled cfm boots. But he was adamant, and for all my false bravado, the second he was gone I was madly searching on the Internet for a definition of such boots, fearing I had made a terrible error in judgment.

After multiple Google searches and consultation with my wise and fashionable Tweeps on Twitter (especially the All Shoe Knowing Goddess @Gabfran), I have breathed a huge sigh of relief in the knowledge that my boots are simply stylish and I have nothing to worry about. The Coach clearly needs to get out more or start watching Offspring.

However what I did discover in the course of my investigations, was that there is no clear definition of the cfm boot. But if you are in any doubt, double check your intended purchase against the two images below and if your boots resemble either of these, I think you may be close to crossing over to the dark side.

Just forget about it...really...


If you are going to a fancy dress party as a hooker then yes, by all means.

If they look like this, then you get a green light to proceed with your purchase because these are lovely, stylish and classic (or so I have been told)