The following conversation was recorded between the hours of 2.30 and 3.30pm on Wednesday 30th of March 2011 :
Waffles (W) : (humming happily and ignoring the torrential downpour) Are you feeling relaxed yet Coach ? Yay, we're on holidays. I might just give your mum a quick call and make sure she found the school okay.
The Coach (TC) : (jaw clenched, hunched over steering wheel) Yeah. Great. Very relaxed.
Phone : Ring Ring (a little blast from the past for those of you over the age of thirty-five)
Nanny B (NB) : Hellloooooo
W : (with an inaudible sigh of relief) Oh hi Nanny B, just wanted to check that you didn't get lost on that one road between our house and the school.
NB : Oh hello darling, no no, I didn't get lost but I'm glad you called....now I don't want you to worry but.....
W : (holding breath) *Uh oh*
NB : ....there's been a little bit of a problem....
W : (still holding breath, turning a light shade of red)
NB : ...with the car...
W : (still holding breath, turning a light shade of purple)
NB : It stopped.
TC : Waffles, why are you turning blue ? What's mum saying ?
W : (taking a huge gulp of air to avoid passing out) What exactly do you mean by stopped ?
TC : What stopped ?
NB : Well...it just sort of stopped...
TC : WHAT STOPPED ?
W : Aahh, do you mean stopped at the school when you turned it off ?
TC : (knuckles turning white on the steering wheel) You're kidding, the car.
NB : Well no...I got about half way to school..and it was making this terrible noise...and there was this awful burning smell....and then it just wouldn't go anymore..but I managed to get it into reverse.....and I got it off the road..mostly...then it stopped altogether.
TC : I'm turning around.
W : No no hon, keep going...we've already been driving for an hour and a half..
NB : Oh don't come back. We're fine..
W : Oh, the kids, have you got the kids ?
NB : Oh yes, I was going to walk the rest of the way...
W : (blanching at the thought of the kids making the hour long trek home in the rain)
NB : But then I though, that's just plain silly, so I knocked on the door of a house..
W : Whose house ?
NB : Oh I can't remember her name. Lovely lady though. She was just about to leave to go to work and she helped me get the keys out of the ignition..
W : You left the key in the ignition ?
TC : I'm turning around right now.
NB : Well they got stuck. But she got them out. So we locked the car and she drove me to school and we picked up the kids and then she drove us home.
W : So the car is locked..half on the side of the road...half way to school....and you have the keys...and are back at home ? (trying to avoid looking at The Coach and the surprisingly large vein that appears to be throbbing in his temple).
TC : I'm turning around.
NB : Yes. But don't worry about us, we'll be fine. Enjoy your holiday. Relax. Now who do I call ?
W : *with a small sigh* Nanny B, I think I'll have to call you back.
NB : (Cheerily) Okay darling, speak to you soon.
To be continued....
5 years ago