Thursday, January 21, 2010

A few words for my son.

Dearest Le Artiste,

It would seem, at the grand old age of eight, that you have been blessed with keen powers of observation. Unfortunately you have not yet mastered the art of tact, so I thought now would be the perfect time for me to share some words of wisdom with you.

Here are ten comments/questions that no woman or girl EVER wants to hear. At the moment your giant brown puppy dog eyes may save you from a womans scorn, but in later years, if you don't heed my advice, you may need to learn to dodge oranges and raspberry slushies.

1. Are you turning into a man ? You are growing a moustache.

2. Ewww, grosse, I can see your knickers.

3. Woo hoo, show us your knickers *snigger snigger*.

4. Is that hair coming out of your nose or is there a spider crawling around in there ?

5. My bum's really small, but yours is very big.

6. How old are you ? No, REALLY, how old are you ?

7. Did you go to the hairdressers ? You look like a tiger.

8. Would you like to marry/go out with/ come on a date with me ? 'Cause Jessica/Olivia/Bertha already said "No."

9. Would you like a vacuum cleaner/toaster/lawn mower for your birthday ?

10. Wow, your mum/sister/Aunt Mabel is really hot.

I hope this advice serves you well.

All my love,

Mummy xx


  1. I think you should put Le Artiste over your lap and give him a big paddy whack on his bot bot. Since his bottom is so small he probably won't feel a thing. HMPH!

  2. Excellent advice!! I love it! :)

  3. Ahahahahahaha*coughs*ahahahahahaha! ;)

  4. He he he soooo true. Hope he takes all of that on board...then he'll be a pretty good catch!

  5. Ah, kids. You gotta love 'em! I'm sure he'll turn out ok. And, you know, if he doesn't, well...things will work out I'm *sure*.

  6. Lol! Ahh, this really made me smile. I hope he takes heed :)

  7. Excellent advice to a young man, perhaps you should have it laminated. Perhaps I should have in laminated and put it next to the Mr.s coffee in the morning.

  8. aahhh too cute! The things they say! You can look back on this post in years to come and have a giggle!! xxx

  9. Hey you! Just thought I'd drop a note to tell you that you are the winner of The Summer Wallet from my give away! Just email me your address! Congratulations!

  10. My son always prefaces with "sorry to offend you" and then he launches into a huge diatribe of how fat/silly/old I am.

    I always take offence

  11. I'm sure, despite your efforts, he will turn in to a typical male - need I say more?

  12. I don't know I think I could take tiger looking as a compliment. Caleb is actually quite good on the compliments, soemtimes a little too good, not sure if boy honesty or boy slickness is worse


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